The Lost Magic of the Dinner Table
Thanksgiving—it’s one of the most slept-on holidays, honestly. A mentor of mine once said, “This is the only holiday where the focus isn’t on material things. It’s about sharing a good meal with friends and family.”
He was right.
But somewhere along the way, we’ve started skipping over Thanksgiving altogether, rushing headfirst into Christmas. Straight to the material (looking at you, Black Friday…👀). Straight to the shiny lights and gift lists. And while there’s nothing wrong with a little holiday cheer, what are we losing by bypassing this moment of togetherness?
The Quiet Loss
“We don’t really do anything anymore…”
“We don’t have dinners like we used to.”
It’s something we hear all too often. A quiet, aching observation—one that says everything about what we’re missing. When that tradition loses its weight, we lose a vital piece of ourselves.
The truth is, many families and friend groups aren’t as close as they used to be. Maybe it’s the strain of politics or the passing of elders who once held things together. Maybe it’s that folks just don’t want to cook anymore, or life is simply throwing everything it’s got. Whatever the reason, the tradition of gathering around the table is fading. And we’re feeling the impact of its absence.
A Moment for Nostalgia
I think back to when all my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins got together. When my TTs cooked in the kitchen and the men bbq’d in the yard. We’d watch from a near distance, climbing trees, riding skateboards, or rehearsing our Destiny's Child choreography and lip-syncing. And if you got lucky, Grandma might slip you a couple of dollar bills for the ice cream truck.
It all felt like love in motion—a deep connection that bound us together. It wasn’t just about the meal or the preparation of it. It was an act of care, an act of devotion.
And if you look beneath the surface, you’ll see the roots of community-building tied to the homes we’re raised in. The loss of the dinner table isn’t just a personal shift; it’s a hit to the very fabric of our communities. Food has always been a foundational practice—not just for nourishment, but for uniting.
When friends and families come together, magic happens. It’s an indescribable energy—generations connecting, stories being told, histories being shared. Our language being preserved.
There’s Science Behind It
Studies have consistently shown that regular family meals have profound benefits for mental and physical well-being. Sharing meals together not only strengthens bonds but also creates a space for support and connection that can improve mental health and reduce anxiety. One study found that frequent family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression and anxiety in adolescents, fostering a greater sense of emotional stability (source).
From a nutritional standpoint, families who eat together are more likely to enjoy balanced, home-cooked meals that include fresh ingredients and fewer preservatives. These meals often lead to healthier eating habits, including higher consumption of fruits and vegetables and lower intake of sugary and processed foods (source).
For children, these shared moments have lasting developmental benefits. Kids who grow up having family dinners regularly not only develop healthier diets but also learn valuable social skills that help them build meaningful relationships later in life. These meals provide a sense of belonging and security, offering children a supportive environment to process their thoughts and feelings (source).
These moments at the table aren’t just meals—they’re quiet rituals that fortify us for the outside world. Whether it’s discussing the highs and lows of the day, passing down family stories, or simply enjoying each other’s presence, the act of gathering around food fosters a resilience that extends far beyond the dining room.
Choosing to Rebuild
The truth is, we can re-establish and reclaim this tradition—but it takes effort. It means playing our parts, even when it feels like a mountain to climb. I get it… hand cleaning the greens or aligning everyone’s schedules can be a task! But, it’s time to make gathering a priority—not just for the sake of the food, but for the healing and history it brings.
And remember, family isn’t always defined by blood. Sometimes the wounds within families run too deep, and it’s important to honor your boundaries in every setting. Family is made up of those who nourish your soul with their overflow, who remind you of who you are, and who ground you when life feels unsteady. It’s the people who show up with love, support, and understanding.
Because when we gather, something magical happens. And that magic? It’s what keeps us going.
Much Love & Happy Holidays,
Tee-Azha A.
Poetic Neighbor Founder
